Back in my early to mid twenties I had a real problem with getting snappy with people the minute they did something that pissed me off. I mean I would cuss someone out or bow up to someone in a heartbeat and wouldn’t care where I was or who was watching. It is a quality others admired and I even enjoyed about myself for a while. FYI, I still believe that standing up for yourself and voicing your opinion are characteristics we should all possess. I did realize over time that my delivery was just a little abrasive :o) I had kids that were watching me nut-up in the grocery store or in the car, my emotions were creeping into my personal relationships and causing me to engage in mini tantrums with the people I loved, and most of all it was aging me…I actually think my health was suffering. So, I made the choice to change. I tried really hard to implement a calming way to go about things. I read some books (small ones, because you know I can’t make it through extensive books, especially books filled with facts about feelings), watched some relate-able TV, incorporated some breathing exercises into my daily routine, and pretty much made a conscious decision to grow up!! This is where my “nice” mantra stems from and why it is so important to me.
Sooo, what do you do when things get sketchy (like for me today) and your old spaz impulses start to rear their ugly head onto your new peaceful zen attitude?? I find that FB (and my blog) work on occasion for me. I get to vent about what has ticked me off, hit “Share”, and go on my way. The only problem with that is…sometimes people (usually the ones who are pissing your off) start calling and emailing, “Why did you write that?” or “Who peed in your Wheaties this morning?” All of which I don’t have the energy to explain nor the patience it would take to tell you without verbally abusing you.
Another alternative…SHOP. I find that solo shopping (not to be confused with holding a grocery list) can be extremely therapeutic when you need an escape. My favorite is to hop in my car….head downtown or to some random shop off base and assume the solitude and anonymity. I can take as long as I want, scout items I would never look at with others, eat a pretzel in between, and think about how lucky I am rather than how annoyed I am…all in one afternoon.
These and other positive outlets help me to appreciate and THINK through some of the little pet peeves I hold dear to me. And that is the point I am trying to make…it is ok to get annoyed!! I will still continue to live by the nice rule, but I am who I am. There is a line with me and if you find that I am looking beyond you, well then you probably crossed it. Once that happens, I don’t waste my time on the delivery. You are just cut out…
What sparked this whole blog topic you say? I was about to write this on my FB status today…YES I have been feeling this way and NO I don’t want to talk about it, like I said it could just be my pre-menopause LOL:
“I have no time for people who are users. I am not here for YOUR benefit people…sometimes you’ve got to give to receive!!”